The scared boy
by Anais-fromanotherplanet
Summary: This story follows Erwin Smith from his childhood through his trainee days to the day when he became Commander of the Scouting Legion, concentrating on events, people, places and ideas which had influence on him and made him the man he is today. THE STORY IS NOT ABANDONNED. The thumbnail is the artwork of the amazing Monty. You can find her on Tumblr as montybyart :)
1. Chapter 1

The scared boy

Summary: A Levi x Erwin multichapter fic.

You thought Erwin's backstory was heart-breaking? Let me triple that, okay? Beacuse my stupid mind just want to write this. The first chapter's not so bad though. I try to stay very close to canon.

Based on the mangas SNK and ACWNR, and the anime.

Angst.

I plan a happy ending!

**A.N.:**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no kyojin or Attack on titan. I just borrowed the characters, I'm not making money with this!**

**ATTENTION!**

**\- I base this on the manga Shingeki no kyojin (I was at chapter 58, when I wrote this), and the manga A choice with no regrets (ACWNR - a spin-off with Levi's backstory, chapter 7)**

**If you don't want SPOILERS, please read them first. (They are awesome, by the way.)**

**\- There will be other characters from AOT/SNK/ACWNR manga or anime, also, characters who are purely mine.**

**\- Be warned: this story is full of angst. At least, it was for me, writing. I try to put happy, hopeful moments in it.**

**\- I plan this to be multi-chapter, but I would really like to get reviews, be it positive or negative, constructive criticism or anything else. They keep me motivated, because honestly, this was the hardest story I ever had to write.**

**\- This is my third finished story in English, and a first multichapter story. I'm not a native English speaker, so sorry for mistakes. I also use the UK spelling and the US spelling at the same time :D Sorry for that, and other typos, repetitions, or punctuation errors. I don't have beta, I just spell checked it. Feel free to message me, so I can fix things like this. Thank you for reading this, and my story. Enjoy!**

* * *

**The scared boy**

**Chapter One**

Erwin's parents almost never quarrelled. Their neighbours spoke about them like this: „They are made for each other." and „Theirs is definitely a true love.". They have been married for thirteen years, and they visibly loved each other just as much, maybe even more than in the beginning of their life together. Erwin grew up in a loving environment in a rather big town just outside Wall Sina – as a children with an actress and a teacher as his parents, he had the chance of becoming „someone truly great" as their neighbors judged. He was looking like her father, blond-haired with incredibly blue eyes and he seemed to have his sharp mind and calm attitude too. It was a great combination with the inheritance of his mother's empathy for others and her strong curiosity.

The teachers liked him for his intelligence and politeness and his classmates liked him for his reassuring presence. The teachers were uncomfortable with his probing questions of topics they knew nothing about and his classmates were irritated by his lack of interest in picking on others.

„You know, Smith, you could be a cool guy, if only you weren't so boring" – snickered one day Alan Keatley.

Erwin didn't care. He protected the weak, but he didn't become friends with the weak. He didn't become close friends with nobody. It was just the way it was.

His father was the history teacher in school. When in the classroom, he was „Mr. Smith . When at home, he was „Father".

Erwin was interested in history.

One day, they learnt about the time when humanity took refuge behind the Walls, and historical records of the time before were left behind. Erwin was surprised and started doubting.

_How can it be that there were no historical records of the time before? Even if all books were lost, the people who took shelter within the walls, they could pass on their memories, even their parents' or their grandparents' memories. They could have written new books. This just doesn't make sense!_

Maybe this whole lesson is just to test their attention. Erwin fidgeted in his seat, and looked around, but no one seemed to notice that's something was off. Mr. Smith went on with the explanation as nothing was amiss. Erwin was trembling with curiosity, and, after a while he finally became resigned to act. He stood up and asked the question.

The face of Mr. Smith became expressionless, and he didn't answer the question. Instead, he dismissed the class at once, giving them his „official occupation" as a reason. There were ten minutes left of the lesson. Their teacher left the room, and Erwin looked around to see if anyone found this strange beside himself. The other children were gathering their books, chatting and laughing, glad that they could go home sooner. Then, Erwin caught sight of Bernard, one of the children of his street. He was watching Erwin, but when he looked back at him, he blushed, and fled the classroom. The blue-eyed boy went home, deep in thoughts.

Little after he arrived, he started to heat up the dinner. His mother was still at the theatre on rehearsal. Soon, his father got home, and they ate the dinner in silence. Erwin was glancing at the man from time to time curiously, but he couldn't find it in himself to ask him about today's class because he felt some kind of never before felt tension emanating from him. He seemed to be pondering. After they finished dinner, his father cleaned up and Erwin brought his books on the kitchen table to begin his homework. Before he could begin studying, Father sat next to him, and pushed his books away from him. The two pair of blue eyes found each other. His father's face was serious, but at the same time, Erwin found an intensity in his expression that he never saw before.

„This was never a question of whether I'm going to tell you. It was a question of when."

The boy remained silent, holding his breath in anticipation. He sensed somehow that this conversation held a special significance.

His father broke the eye contact for a moment to look down on the table, murmuring: „Your mother was wrong."

He looked back up, determined, and placed his warm hand on Erwin's.

„You need to know the truth."

* * *

Erwin's parents almost never quarrelled. If they did, that was mostly about some small matter, ended within minutes concluded with one of those kisses Erwin always looked away from.

That afternoon, his father spoke to him about many things. One of them Erwin called „The Truth" in his head. The other things they talked about were closely connected to The Truth. His father wanted him to join the Military Police, to go enlist, to become a trainee one month later, when school finished.

His father spoke for a long time, and Erwin, recovering from his initial shock by learning The Truth, asked questions, and his father answered them if he could. This whole story was so unbelievable, but at the same time, it was like his eyes were open for the first time.

Erwin never thought about joining any force of the military. He wanted to be a teacher as his father.

After hearing The Truth, he understood the importance of him joining, and he wanted to do as his father told him.

Mother came home looking tired, but she smiled widely as she looked at them, as they were hugging each other.

As soon as he saw her, Erwin disentangled himself from his father's embrace, jumped off the chair and flew into his mother's arms. She smelled like theatre, and when her son pulled back a little, he could see some traces of the strong make-up she accidently left on her cheeks.

She looked back at him lovingly, and caressed his blond hair gently, while speaking to him:

„Hey, sweetie. Did you finished your homework?"

Erwin nodded, then noticed that when his mother looked up at her father, she must have seen something, because her smile disappeared within seconds.

Erwin wanted to look at his father, to see what was wrong, but Mother still kept him in her arms.

Her face changed, confusion came across it, which was then replaced by shock, and finally settled with cold anger. Erwin never saw her looking at his father like this before. He never saw her looking at anyone like this. Her grip became stronger on Erwin's shoulders, then she suddenly let him go, standing straight up.

„Erwin, go to your room." She sounded hoarse.

He turned around to look at his father. He seemed to be tense, but collected at the same time. His eyes wandered on Erwin's face for a while, then he nodded.

The boy gathered his books from the kitchen table, went out of the room, closing the door behind him. He got through his parent's bedroom, which was connected to his own, and hurried to put his books down on his bed. He shut his door, before he could hear what her parents were talking about. They surely had a reason not to speak in front of him.

* * *

His thoughts soon returned to his father's words about The Truth, and him becoming a member of the Military Police.

„You have to be very good among the trainees. Ony the best ten can choose a place in the Military Police. I know you can do it. I trust you, Erwin."

His chest swelled with pride, and he hastily answered:

„I will not disappoint you, Father."

His father pulled him closer and hugged him tightly.

„I love you, son."

* * *

Erwin's parents almost never quarrelled.

Despite the closed door, Erwin could hear Mother speaking loudly with his father's much more quiet answers.

Soon, his mother's words became clearer, and Erwin realized, she was shouting. Father's voice also became stronger.

The blond boy covered his ears to not to hear their argument, but it became uncomfortable very quickly, so he lowered his hands down, and pulled closer one of his books, to distract himself with reading.

It wasn't working. Before long, he found himself listening.

„The Military Police is the safest place for him! He is going to be great there!" – he heard his father.

„What if he didn't get in?! Get placed to the Wall…or…or…"

„He will get in."

„You can't know that! Why did you tell him?! He is just a boy!"

„He is mature enough. He needed to know. He asked questions in today's class."

„That means nothing!" his mother's voice became frantic. „You shouldn't have told him! You should have spoken to me first! What were you thinking? How… You... defied me!"

„Clara, listen…"

„No, YOU listen! You listen! We have talked about this thousand times!"

„Clara…"

„You are…" Mother's voice broke little. "You are using him! He is a puppet to you, isn't he?"

„How can you even say that?!"

„Do you even love him?!"

Erwin couldn't listen to them anymore. He got out the back door to the terrace, and sit down on the first step, his throat feeling tight. He could no longer hear his parents words.

The sky was darkening, and the first stars were appearing on it. Not too far, Erwin could see the silhouette of Wall Sina. He felt his eyes sting. He decided not to cry. Soldiers don't cry.

What is she speaking about? That his father doesn't love him? He loves him, he said it just now! And he is not using him! He just tries to help him. To get him in a position. He will become important in the Military Police. A very important person. And he will help his father then. Mother was wrong. She just didn't understand.

It is all because of The Truth. People don't know it, and that's why they don't understand things. Important things.

They need to understand it. People need to hear about this. And that was when Erwin decided to share The Truth with others. Then they will see. Then they will understand. And they won't have quarrels anymore.

He went back to his room, pushed his books off from his bed, and collapsed on it with his school clothes still on. His parents weren't fighting anymore. They were only talking._ Mother understood._ Relief flooded him, then Erwin felt the tiredness claim him, and he closed his eyes. Soon, he drifted to sleep.

He didn't feel the covers of the bed pulled on him by gentle hands, and didn't hear two voices whispering:

„Good night, sweetheart."

„Sleep well, son."

* * *

The next morning, Erwin found his mother in the kitchen, preparing dinner. The breakfast was already done. Erwin sat down and started eating after greeting Mother. He eyed her for signs of the argument last night, but her face didn't show anything different from other mornings. He did notice the shadows under her eyes though – it seemed she didn't sleep well.

„Your father already left for work. I will take you to school, okay?"

Erwin's face reddened.

„Mother, I am twelve! I can go to school alone."

A soft smile appeared on her face, then she became serious.

„I know, Erwin. I just wanted to talk with you."

Erwin got suspicious. Maybe he thought wrong yesterday. Can it be that his mother didn't understand after all? That he _must _join the Military Police?

„Is this about me becoming a trainee?"

His mother turned her back on him to wash the dishes, though he thought she just didn't want to look him in the eye.

„Finish your breakfast." she said quietly.

Erwin complied reluctantly, but he was determined to not let his mother withhold him from his _duty_.

After finishing his breakfast, he gathered his books, and joined his mother who was waiting for him outside the house.

The school was five corners from their home, which gave them enough time to talk, but at first, Mother simply walked beside him saying nothing. Erwin waited patiently, while thinking of arguments of his mother and possible answers he could give her to persuade her.

Finally, she began:

„I need to tell you that your father knows about me talking to you alone. I think it's necessary for you to hear my opinion too, before you decide."

Erwin looked up on his mother, surprised. She seemed to have calmed down since yesterday, and she's… giving him the choice?

Her eyes locked on the horizon, when she continued.

„As for your father's… theories… I believe him, of course. It all makes sense. Some higher authorities… they're hiding something from us. Probably something important."

Erwin stayed quiet, keeping steps with his mother. He knew there's no need for him to talk now.

Suddenly, Mother stopped and crouched down to him, grabbing his shoulders. Her deep brown eyes sparkled with a desperate intensity.

„But… Erwin… I don't care."

The blond-haired boy blinked. Before he could answer, his mother started speaking very fast.

„I don't care. It's unimportant to me to know what's really going on. We are at peace. We are safe! As long as nothing threatens my family's safety, I'm content. I love my job, your father loves teaching, you're an outstanding student – I can see you living a happy life if you just stay on the road you're on right now."

Erwin couldn't do anything else than gaping at his mother. She sighed, and looked deep in his eyes.

„But… this is your life. I can't force you to do what I think is the best for you. You need to decide for yourself."

Erwin felt his body relax, and he smiled at his mother.

„Mother, I would like to…"

„No need to decide it now." she interrupted hastily, while averting her eyes from his face. „We can talk about it more after school. With your father. And there's plenty more time for you to make your decision. Not necessarily now…"

There was a warm feeling in Erwin's chest, and he moved closer to hug his Mother, interrupting her. They hold each other for quite long before letting go. Mother's eyes were full of tears, but she was smiling warmly when she stroked his hair, and he looked away, embarrassed.

They finished the road to school in silence.

When they arrived at the school yard, his mother hugged him the last time.

„Have a good day, sweetie. We will talk after school." She smiled, and he waved goodbye, walking towards the other students.

„Hey Sweetie!" a scornful voice drifted towards Erwin.

He looked up and sighted Alan and his friends snickering.

"Is your mommy gonna come for you after school, Sweetie?"

He narrowed his eyes, then turned away, making his way inside the building. They were shouting after him, but Erwin ignored them.

Near the classroom door, he glimpsed Bernard. Way to start spreading the word about The Truth. He knew Bernard was interested in it, judging from his yesterday behaviour . If he can persuade him, maybe he will help make the others believe.

When Bernard noticed Erwin walking towards him with a determined expression on his face, he blushed, cowered a little, and his eyes were on everything but the blond-haired boy. Erwin decided he will start with kind.

„Hi, Bernard." he smiled at the brunette.

His classmate finally looked him in the face, even if for a short moment, before averting his eyes.

„Hi."

Bernard was a quiet boy, one of the weakest in school, and because of that, he was often picked on by the likes of Alan. Erwin defended him, when he could, just like the others. They weren't friends, actually Erwin didn't know him very well. The only thing about him that he could recall was that he loved drawing. Before everything, he promised himself that he will be honest with him, so he avoided the precursory talk, starting with the question he really wanted to ask.

„Hey, do you remember, yesterday when I asked Mr. Smith that question in the end of the lesson?"

Bernard's eyes snapped back on his face, taken aback, then he lowered his look again, nodding.

„Why do you ask?" he murmured.

„Well, we didn't get any answer in the class. But my father answered me at home." Erwin's smile widened, and his eyes glinted with excitement. _Finally, I can share The Truth with someone._

Bernard's timidness seemed to break down a little with his words. Brown eyes locked with his blue ones, full of hardly restrained curiosity, but the shy boy didn't say anything.

Erwin was in the middle of opening his mouth to say something, when the teacher came out of the classroom to call them in.

„Lunch break" whispered Erwin to Bernard, when they separated to go to their own desks.

Erwin didn't have any classes with his father on Wednesdays, so the two of them always planned a little time to speak to each other in the lunch break. Sometimes, he even let Erwin call him „Father", when they were alone. Today, however, Erwin had more important things to do. As soon as their teacher let them go, he hurried down to the canteen to avoid the queue. He grabbed two apples and on his way outside, he almost collided with the very person he destined one of them.

„Hey, Erwin, I…"

„Let's go outside, Bernard. I have apples."

Bernard blushed a little and glanced shyly on his classmate.

„We're not supposed to do that…"

The blond looked at him with updrawn brows.

„You're not interested, then?"

That made an effect.

„I am!"

Erwin smiled on him.

„Then don't worry. While you're with me, you're going to be okay."

Before Bernard could answer, he grabbed the brown-haired boy's arm, and pulled him towards the exit. Suddenly, Erwin's father appeared in front of them. Both of them froze. There wasn't any expression on his face for Erwin to find out that now, he would like to be addressed as „Mr. Smith", or more, „Father". He knew that if he wanted to talk to Bernard, he has to get on the „father side", so he risked a bit. He looked up with an innocent expression.

„Father, I was going to talk to _my friend_, Bernard a little."

If Father was surprised, he didn't give away. His face was impassive for a while, but then he smiled, mischief appearing in his eyes.

„Go ahead then. But don't be caught." he winked. _It worked._

Erwin grinned and was turning back to the brunette, when all of a sudden, his father stopped him. His face was serious, and he whispered.

„Erwin, did your mother talk about…" his voice faltered.

„Yes." answered Erwin, imitating the serious face and the whispering.

Meanwhile more people, teachers among them spilled into the canteen.

„We'll talk at home." said Erwin's father hurriedly.

The blond boy waved, and turned towards Bernard, who was watching them with a confused look on his face.

„Come on." Grabbing his arm again, Erwin led them outside near to the corner of the building, close to the street. „Let's eat first."

Erwin bit hungrily in his apple, whilst holding out the other one for Bernard, who sheepishly accepted, then nibbled at it.

When they finished, Bernard was the first to speak.

„Were you serious?"

Erwin pulled up one of his eyebrows questioningly.

Bernard looked away, blushing.

„When you were talking about… you and me… being friends…"

Something told Erwin, that this question was very important to Bernard, but at the same time, he needed to be honest.

„Well, we are not friends…" he started tentatively. Bernard hunched almost immediately. „But we very well can be." he added hurriedly.

Bernard glanced at him hopefully, then averted his eyes once again. Now, he seemed very anxious, looking everywhere but Erwin.

„Erwin, I have never really… thanked you… for… ehm… protecting me from the others…"

The blond smiled at him warmly.

„No need to thank me, Bernard. I just hate when they do that to anyone."

A tiny smile appeared on the brunette's face.

„All the same: thank you."

Erwin fidgeted with excitement, for now he was going to finally tell his… friend… The Truth.

„Let's talk about what my father told me yesterday."

There was a definite change in Bernard's demeanour. He became attentive, and excited. Erwin was glad to see that.

He wanted to test his speech about The Truth on someone alone, before telling the others. He led Bernard to the fence which separated the yard from the road, and they put their backs to it.

Erwin told Bernard everything his father told him the day before. He had to shorten the story to tell only the most important things because otherwise, it would've been too long for the lunch break. Bernard listened with wide eyes, and when he saw the terrified expression on the brunette's face, he knew he chose his audience well. The shy boy was smart, and it seemed he thought very much like him.

Suddenly a voice came from the road, from behind their backs.

„Hey, boys, what are you doing out here?"

They spun around, just to find two soldiers watching them across the fence.

Erwin felt Bernard tense next to him, and he felt the same tension claiming him. They were _very close_. It seemed the two boys were so preoccupied, they didn't notice the officers coming. Now they couldn't speak a word, just stared worriedly at the two adults before them.

One of them, the taller, when after seeing their expression, let out a small laugh.

„No need to be so frightened, we don't bite."

The other person joined him, saying:

„We just wanted to know, why you boys aren't inside the building… as far as I know, that's the rule."

Bernard now was trembling, but he seemed to become mute at the same time. Erwin gathered up all his courage to answer.

„I'm sorry, sir. We were just…"

„You were just talking about some books or something." interrupted the taller one. „Which disappeared when mankind hid behind the walls. Am I right?"

Erwin suddenly felt his stomach very tight. He was sure he isn't supposed to tell the guards about this. At least not yet.

„No… we were just talking about some of my books. They suddenly disappeared yesterday…"

„Hey, don't lie to us, boy!" Barked the shorter man. „I can smell the liars from miles, you know!"

„Calm down, Mark!" the taller placed his hand on his comrade's shoulder. „Do you want to take these boys to prison, or something?" he laughed dryly.

Erwin felt his stomach drop, and Bernard let out a quiet whimper next to him.

„I don't know yet. But they broke the rules of the school, that's sure… Who knows what kind of misdeeds are they capable of…"

The blond-haired boy was now desperate.

„No, please, sir! I won't lie, I promise!"

The soldiers exchanged a glance, then turned back towards them.

„Come here to us then boys, and tell us everything. Starting with your names." they heard the man called Mark saying sternly.

The taller waved them over to the other side of the fence, on the road. They complied without question.

Erwin felt Bernard gripping his wrist, and he tried to shake his hands off. He needed to fix his mistake, that he lied. He needed to appear trustworthy and honest, and he couldn't do it with Bernard clinging to him like this, making him uncomfortable.

He finally shook off Bernard's arm, and the other boy stood behind him, trying to appear as small as possible.

Erwin told them everything he said to Bernard. He felt obligation to share as many details as possible, after all, he needed them to believe him, and to let them go. He would feel very guilty if Bernard got some sort of punishment because of him.

While he was talking, and the officers were listening carefully, he took notice that something was wrong about their uniforms – but at the same time, they seemed normal. He just got a feeling he couldn't place about their clothes. It was like… something was missing, but as he looked again and again, more thoroughly nothing came to his mind. He finally gave upon it.

He finished the talking, and waited anxiously what will the soldiers answer.

Their faces were blank, and they stayed silent for a while, but after a brief glance on each other, the taller spoke.

„It's all right, boys." He smiled kindly. „Actually, this topic was something which always picked the interest of us, and of higher authorities of course. Quite mysterious, huh?"

Erwin lost countenance. _They knew? They knew about it all?_ He turned to see what was Bernard thinking, who was looking back at him with a shoked expression.

The shorter man took over the speaking, and he didn't appear to be as intimidating as before.

„You know, a whole all-around handout was put together to inform the population about this. We just need to receive all the permissions from everywhere – it is a quite lengthy procedure. Bureaucrats, am I right, mate?"

The taller snorted.

„It will be a grand co-operation of the authorities and the population. Everyone, who has some information about this, will be called in so we can have all the information to uncover this mystery, and the reasons why is this a mystery at all."

Erwin felt the tension leaving his body at once. _They knew about it, they just weren't ready to send out the letters to the people! How happy will Father be!_

Bernard no longer seemed frightened, just a bit nervous. He smiled tentatively at Erwin.

„But kids, this is supposed to be secret for now, so don't tell anyone else. This is very important. Am I understood?" Seriousness crawled back into the man's voice.

„Yes, sir!" the boys answered simultaneously.

„You said your father worked here, right? Mr. Smith, was it?"

„Yes, he's our history teacher." answered Erwin.

„Is there anyone else who knows about this excluding you two, and Mr. Smith?"

„Just my mother, as far as I know." The blond boy felt his confidence fully returning to him.

„Her name is?"

„Clara Smith."

The tall one smiled at them warmly.

„You have been a great service to us, boys. I need to thank you." He then looked directly at Erwin. „Have you thought about joining the military someday?"

Erwin was so eager to answer that he nearly stuttered.

„Yes, sir, I thought about joining the Military Police!"

„The Military Police, huh?" He grinned. „Well, aren't you an ambitious one!" I'm sure you can do it."

Erwin felt very proud that this soldier thought he could get in the Military Police.

His smile seemed like it was glued on his face and so was Bernard's. He appeared to be finally relaxed too.

„Now, boys, I think you deserve this afternoon off school, to relax after the events of this exciting lunch break. Don't you think, Mark?"

„Definitely."

They glanced at each other, shocked. _Are they serious?_

„But, sir, our lessons…"

„Don't worry, we'll go and speak to your teachers about it. We give you permission to go home, or go play somewhere, whatever you like. We are really, really grateful to you. This is the least we can do. Now, go on home."

The boys started to walk away slowly, still don't believing their chance. The soldiers didn't stop them, just smiled at them encouragingly.

When they neared the first corner, they looked back, and saw the soldiers entering the school building.

„Wow, I can't believe how lucky we are!" exclaimed Erwin. He never was so much animated in his life.

„Yes!" He never saw Bernard being so animated either. „I still can't believe it! We deserved punishment, and we got ourselves a free afternoon!" His smile faltered a bit. „Of course, it was all thanks to you. I did nothing."

Erwin looked at him, surprised.

„What? You were there the whole time."

The smile now fully disappeared from Bernard's face. He shrugged, looking away.

„I did nothing. You did the talking."

„You were there. You supported me." said Erwin.

Bernard glanced at him, to catch the serious expression on the blond's face.

„You were there." he insisted, with a smile.

The brunette finally smiled back.

They walked silently for some time, then Bernard spoke again.

„You were so brave. I'm sure you will do great in the military."

„You think so?" Erwin's voice was full of happiness and hope.

„Yes." Suddenly, mischief appeared in the voice of the brown-eyed boy. „You're quite a talker. I didn't take you for that kind of person."

Erwin felt a little embarassed. Sure, he didn't open up for people like this often. But it was so easy with Bernard.

„Well, yes, I only talk this much, when I'm excited." he explained, then he felt the need to shoot back. „ I didn't take you for a talker either, but it seems like it's no problem to you!"

Bernard blushed.

„It's the same for me. I'm excited, that's all."

They were silent for another minute, then Bernard spoke again.

„You're going home?"

„I think so, yes. And you?"

„Me too."

Quiet again. Erwin was trying to think of something. Now, that they calmed down a little, the situation was a little awkward. Finally, he decided to talk about the only thing he knew about Bernard.

„Hey, I know you draw pictures, is that true?"

The change in Bernard was visible. He stood taller, and his face became delighted. Erwin knew he did good to bring this up.

The brunette talked about drawing and Erwin listened, interested. The conversation flew easily once again. Too soon, it seemed, they arrived at Bernard's house.

„Well, here we are." he said, looking a bit sad.

„…Yes."

They were standing next to each other, facing the building, like if they stared at it long enough, it would disappear.

Bernard looked nervous once again, and it seemed like he wanted to say something, but was too shy to ask.

„What is it?" Erwin smiled at him, reassuring.

„I was wondering… you know, my mother's not at home, she's working… and if you would like to see my drawings… maybe you could come in?" he looked very anxious now, averting his eyes from Erwin, and blushing deep red.

Erwin smiled, and simply said:

„That would be great, thanks."

The timid boy looked at him astonished, then his face bloomed with a smile so bright that Erwin knew, he will never forget it in his whole life.

To be continued

End of Chapter One

The scared boy

20 june 2014

**A.N:**

**Thanks for reading it! I hope you liked it. Favorites, Follows, Reviews, Comments would mean a lot to me, constructive criticism is highly welcomed!**

**Is the characterisation okay so far? I'm really nervous about that. Please tell me what you think!**

**I put this fic up on Ao3, too ;)**

**You can ask me to write prompts, and if I have enough inspiration and time, I will do them :)**

**Message me, if you'd like :)**

**Find me on Tumblr: anais-fromanotherplanet**

**Have a good day / night!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N.: For warnings, disclaimers, etc. see Chapter One.**

**The scared boy**

**Chapter Two**

The house of Bernard's family was a little smaller than Erwin's, but it was tidy and well-lighted, with two rooms and a kitchen. Bernard showed him around and asked if he wanted anything to eat or drink, but at the same time he seemed like he could hardly wait to show his drawings to the blond boy.

Erwin was quite interested, and he wasn't hungry, so he settled down in the larger room on the carpet, while Bernard disappeared to bring the pictures. Erwin glanced around, and found that the place was friendly with its light colors on the walls and its simple furniture. Not long later, Bernard came back to the room, a large pile of papers in his hands. Surprise appeared on Erwin's face, and Bernard stopped hesitantly, then murmured:

„I just thought I'll bring all of them, so you don't have to sit there waiting for me. You don't have to look at all of them, of course…"

Erwin smiled, understanding the distress of his friend.

„No, that's not it. I'd love to see all of them. That's just- a _lot_. I'm surprised you have drawn that much."

Hearing his words, Bernard finally sat down, pulling his legs underneath him and sprayed half of the stack on the carpet for Erwin to see. Most of them were only black pencil drawings, but here or there you could find some richly colored ones. They were picturing buildings, streets, fields, trees, the sky, and even animals. Erwin found one which was a drawing of the dog in their street, and on another one he could see the tree next to their school. Bernard worked with decisive, strong lines, and his drawings were rich with details. Erwin found them beautiful, and commented on every single one. His brown-eyed friend tried to conceal it, but clearly, he was very proud of his work, telling Erwin about his method, and what was that he found remarkable about the different subjects to draw. Halfway through the remaining pile, the blue-eyed boy realized something.

„You don't draw people."

Bernard's face became thoughtful.

„People are always difficult." he said finally.

Erwin waited, sensing that his sentence meant more than a comment about his art, but Bernard didn't say more, and Erwin begin to look through the drawings which were still in the stack. When he was close to the end, Bernard stopped his hand.

„Oh, those are from when I was really little. You wouldn't want to see them. They aren't any good."

„That doesn't bother me. It can't be worse than what I can draw now." laughed Erwin.

Bernard let out a small laugh, but still vacillated a bit. Then he released Erwin's hand, letting him pulling close a paper randomly.

Interest awoke in him, as he looked closer. It was no more than stick figures, drawn by a little child. Three people holding each others hands, two bigger, one smaller. A family. The adult's legs were too long, their heads too big, one of the little one's legs was shorter than the other. It wasn't colored, there wasn't even a horizontal line for them to stand on. Erwin found it captivating all the same. It emitted emotions stronger than any other one he had seen so far.

Bernard was silent. Erwin glanced up to see him scrutinising his work, with a strange expression on his face.

„I haven't seen this for a while."

„Is that your family?"

„Yes."

Erwin stayed quiet, waiting for him to go on, if he wanted to. The brunette just took the drawing from Erwin's hand and inspected it, looking detached. A few seconds later, he placed it on the ground, still staring at it.

„It's me, my mother and my father." He sighed. „Dad died when I was very little. I don't remember him well. I guess I stopped drawing people back then." He pulled out another paper from the pile absent-mindedly. „No, I'm wrong. Look! Here we are, my mum and me, just the two of us."

But Erwin wasn't observing the paper held out to him, instead he watched Bernard. He didn't seem shaken, just a bit deep in thoughts. Abruptly, he dropped down the paper on the floor, and shrugged his shoulders. As he did that, the neckline of his shirt slipped a little, showing his collarbones, and revealing a yellow-colored bruise. Erwin couldn't stop himself and pointed it out.

„What's that there?"

Bernard followed his gaze, and the blond boy had a feeling that he was relieved that the subject has changed.

„Oh, this?" He poked the bruise with his finger, then pulled his shirt' neck back up, to cover it. „Just Alan." he shrugged again.

Erwin was consternated.

„What? When? But… I…"

Bernard's lips pulled into a forced smile.

„Do you think he only finds us at school?"

The teacher's son was still stupefied.

The words suddenly started to pour out of Bernard, like if a gate did open in him.

„It's not your fault. You protected me, and the others a hundred times, but you just can't be everywhere – can't be where he is all the time. He and his friends – they follow us after school, or just meet us accidently, and no matter what you do or say, they just punch you, or tear your clothes or something like that. Sometimes you manage to avoid them, run quickly enough or hide, go down in the sewers, but you aren't always that lucky." Bernard looked him in the eye. „And no one else wants to stand up against them, just you. I think he respects you or he's afraid of you or something. You mean a lot to us." Blush. „I mean who else would be there to protect us?" He sighed, dropping his head down. „I'm pathetic, really. You don't even fight. You just talk to people and they do what you want. I **can** talk, I could do that. But I don't. Because I'm afraid."

Erwin felt angry. _Why?_ _Why are Alan and his friends doing this?_ Bernard shook his head.

„I guess we can't just rely on you forever... it's not fair. We have to stand up for ourselves. It's just… so damn hard."

Erwin felt lost in his thoughts. _This afternoon was going so great! Why do good things always turn bad?_ He tried to find a solution to lighten up his and his friend's mood. Soon, he felt he got something.

„Hey, can you teach me to draw? For exchange, I could try to help you with the situation with Alan." he grinned on Bernard. The other was confused at first, then thought it through, finally saying:

„If you really think that it's a good idea…"

They gathered Bernard's drawings from the floor, and moved over to the kitchen. The afternoon sun broke through the window and shined upon the two boys leaning over the table, Erwin, a pencil in his hand, concentrating hard, trying to draw a tree better than he usually could, Bernard giving him advice, occasionally pulling the pencil out of his hand, and striking a line here or there. It ended up Erwin laughing at the result and Bernard shoving him with his elbow. Erwin pushed away the paper and started asking questions about what is Bernard feeling when he is near Alan or his friends, and sharing his thoughts with him about standing up straight and just trying to tell them what he's really thinking.

„He would probably laugh at that, and would just beat me, like thousand times before."

„Try not to insult them, and stay calm. Maybe use a few complicated expressions. If he doesn't understand them and tries to figure them out, you have the upper hand."

„Or maybe he would just become irritated and would beat me all the same."

Erwin knotted his brows together.

„What if next time he tries something when I'm around, I decide not to protect you?"

The brunette looked a bit scared hearing this. Erwin smiled.

„No, not like that. I'll stay around, but you got to stand up for him. If it doesn't work, I'll talk to him. It's worth a try."

Bernard smiled back.

„That could work."

Erwin was thinking over the information he heard from Bernard for a couple of minutes, before asking another question.

„So, what do you usually do when you meet them outside the school?"

„If they notice me and aren't too close, I try to avoid meeting them, but more often than not they are coming directly towards me, so that's out of the question." Bernard shrugged. „Sometimes I run, sometimes I hide, sometimes I go down the sewers. Sometimes I get caught and they beat me up."

Something caught Erwin's attention.

„What was that about the sewers?"

„Oh. There's an entrance for the sewers not far from here, in an alleyway with a dead end." Bernard waved his hand toward the direction. „I found it once when they were chasing me. It's a bit hard to open because its cover's heavy, but it's a really good hiding spot. You just go down the ladder a couple of steps, pull the cover closed and wait for Alan and the others to disappear. It saved me many times."

Erwin hummed cogitatively.

„But…" Bernard seemed to hesitate. „I don't recommend going all the way down the ladder. I heard voices from there. From people." He shivered. „It was quite creepy."

„There were people down there? How so?" asked Erwin, shocked.

„I don't know… but it was scary." the boy across him shifted uncomfortably.

The blond thought about it for a few minutes, then, being without any answer, he chose to drop the subject, and reflected on the other things Bernard told him. He didn't find any more advice to tell his friend, so they stuck to the plan Erwin mentioned earlier. That settled, Bernard pushed another piece of paper in front of Erwin.

„Now, back to drawing. What about a building?"

Ten minutes later Erwin held an acceptable picture of a house in his hands.

„That's pretty good." said the brown-eyed boy appreciatively. „I think you're much better when it comes to straight lines."

Erwin put his two drawings together and placed the pencil on the side of the table.

„So, are you going to use your talent to become a famous painter later? Or are you going to illustrate books?"

„I don't know. Being a famous painter would be good. I could maybe even move inside Wall Sina." said Bernard dreamily.

„Well, if you're going to move to the capital, I'm going to be right next to you." grinned the blond at his friend.

„Oh, yes, the Military Police. When are you going to enlist?"

„Right away, when school's over."

Bernard looked at him with awe.

„Aren't you afraid that it's dangerous?"

„Being a trainee is not dangerous." stated Erwin. „The only danger are the titans. If I graduate in the top ten, I will become a member of the Military Police and I don't have to see any titan in my life."

Bernard scowled.

„But… Erwin. The whole reason for you to join the Military was your father's theory. But now we know that the authorities want to inform the people about this. And you still want to be a trainee?"

The boy bethought himself on that. „That's right! Well… I don't know. I guess I'll talk with my parents about it."

_No. I will definitely join. I would be good at it, the soldier said so too._

Bernard moved his mouth to say something, when they heard the front door opening slowly and a weak voice calling:

„Bernard! Are you here?"

In a flash, the boy jumped down from the chair and ran towards the owner of the voice.

„Mum!"

Erwin climbed down from his chair much slower, and stood awkwardly next to the table while waiting to be introduced.

When Bernard's mother came in view, Erwin tried very hard not to stare. The woman was very thin. Her clothes clung on her like they were for a much bigger person and the skin on her face was tight and paper thin. She wasn't old, but she moved like a much older woman. Her many-flowered skirt swirled around her bony ankle as she came into the kitchen. Blue skirt, white roses. Bernard followed her, holding a basket full of food, probably what his mother was carrying a moment ago. He looked up at his mother with an expression like she was the most beautiful being in the world. _My mother is much more beautiful -_ thought Erwin, just to be deeply ashamed a second later for thinking that.

The woman, when she noticed Erwin, stopped and turned towards Bernard questioningly. The brunette stepped forward and introduced them:

„Mum, he is Erwin. Erwin, she is my mother."

Erwin smiled politely and reached his hand to shake hands.

„My name is Erwin Smith, nice to meet you."

Bernard's mother widened her eyes in surprise, then smiled kindly and took his hand in hers, shaking it softly.

„Nice to meet you, Erwin. I'm Aurora Mont."

Meanwhile, Bernard put down the basket on the kitchen table, starting to unload it. Erwin suddenly realized how late it was. They were so engulfed in drawing and their conversation that they haven't noticed that it was already late afternoon. Wednesday's last lesson was over with an hour, and the blond boy supposed to be home by now. He voiced this right away to his friend.

„Erm, Bernard, thank you for having me, but I need to go now."

Before Bernard could answer, his mother interrupted him:

„It's not because of me, is it? Oh, Erwin, don't you want to stay for dinner? We would be glad to welcome you." Her voice sounded genuine.

„Thank you very much, but I really need to go. My parents are probably waiting for me. Sorry for staying late." said Erwin apologetically as he moved towards the front door.

„Wait! Don't forget your drawings." Bernard scooped up the papers with Erwin's works, and handed them over.

„Oh, you draw too?" asked Mrs. Mont enquiringly, while putting the food away.

Erwin laughed.

„No, actually, I'm terrible at it. Bernard was just helping me out."

The woman glanced at her son adoringly.

„Oh, I see. How nice of you Bernard!" she looked back at Erwin with an expression like she was about to share a secret. , „You know, Bernard is a pretty talented boy. A smart one too. One day, maybe he can-"

„Mum, Erwin really needs to go now, isn't that right, Erwin?" interrupted Bernard, clearly flustered. He stepped next to the blue-eyed boy, grabbing his arm all of a sudden, pulling him towards the exit.

Erwin tried to keep his balance and to not to fall, then nodded hastily, following Bernard.

„Yes… thank you again for everything."

„You are welcome anytime, Erwin! It was very nice meeting you. Good night!" said Bernard's mother with a kind smile.

Bernard was already out of the door, still holding Erwin's arm, so all he could do was answer „Good night, Mrs. Mont!" before being tugged out of the house.

The front door closed behind them.

„Sorry about that." said Bernard, shuffling his feet.

„I think your mother is very kind." answered Erwin.

„If only she stopped praising me…" Bernard huffed, irritated.

„Well, that's what parents do. There's no way of stopping it." grinned Erwin.

Silence fell for a moment, then Bernard spoke first.

„Erm, I have to go back in to help her…" he said reluctantly.

„Oh, right. Thank you for having me. I had a good time." said Erwin with an honest smile, and started walking backwards towards the road.

„I had a great time too." Bernard opened the front door, then looked at him shyly. „Maybe you could come another time?"

„I'd like to. And you could come to my house, too." said Erwin, still facing the other boy.

„That would be great!" said Bernard gleefully, his hand still on the door handle.

„See you tomorrow at school, then! Bye!" waved the blond awkwardly.

„Yeah, tomorrow! Bye!"

* * *

He hurried towards their house in the street, quickening his steps gradually as he got farther away from Bernard's. The day's events flashed through his mind – the lunch break, the soldiers, the afternoon with his friend. _Bernard is great._ _I don't even know why we didn't talk before._

The lamps on the street were already lit, their illuminated circles barely touching each other on the ground. People were passing by, going home or taking care of another business. Nobody paid attention to him. He walked past several alleyways, narrow, and scarcely lit. He wondered which one was that alleyway with the dead end Bernard talked about. _He said he heard voices of people. _The thought was inconceivable, yet he believed the brown-haired boy. _Maybe someday he will show me the place._

When he glimpsed their house, it was already dusk, and he saw faint lights emanating from the lamps inside. He noticed his mother through the kitchen window. She was pacing back and forth in the small room. Erwin didn't see his father in there, but he figured it would be the best to get in fast. His mother seemed very anxious.

Once he entered, Mother appeared in front of him immediately.

„Erwin!" crouching down, she grabbed him by the shoulder. „Where have you been?!" She looked over his head, searching the night behind him. „And where is your father?"

„I'm sorry, Mother, that I came late-" started apologising Erwin, then stopped, before asking back. „Father? I thought he was here, with you."

Mother stared at him with wide eyes.

„I thought you went with him somewhere and you two just forget to mention it to me. But if you weren't with him, then where were you?"

„At my friend's house. Sorry I didn't ask, but-"

His mother stood up, walked to the door and looked outside.

„Where is he?" she murmured quietly.

After a minute or two she closed the door, turned around, and walked back to Erwin. The smile on her lips was tight as she spoke.

„He will be back soon. Probably he just needed to take care of something and forgot to tell us."

She clearly calmed down a bit, and she asked if Erwin would like to eat dinner. It dawned on him now how hungry he was, for he ate only an apple in lunch break. He sat down in the kitchen after putting down the drawings and his books. Mother set the table and scooped him a bowl of soup.

„What are those?" she asked gesturing towards the drawings, when Erwin started eating.

„I drew them at my friend's house."

„Oh?"

„His name is Bernard. He lives not far from here." explained Erwin.

„I see." Mother sat down on the chair next to him, and took the drawings in her hand. She hummed approvingly. "They are better than what you draw usually."

„That's because Bernard helped me draw them." smiled her son.

„I don't remember you mentioning him before."

„He is my classmate." Erwin took another spoonful.

„You drew these in an hour?" her voice sounded incredulous.

He put his spoon back in the bowl to answer.

„No, I was at Bernard's since lunch break."

Hearing this, his mother's eyes widened.

„What?! Erwin! You skipped school?!"

„No, no!" the blond boy was in a hurry to explain. „The soldiers let us go home after the lunch break. They were really nice to us."

She was utterly confused.

„The soldiers dismissed your class after lunch break? Did they need to search the school for a hiding criminal or something?"

„No, they let us go – I mean just the two of us…" Erwin realized from her expression that they weren't on the same page, so he settled on explaining everything from the beginning. He became excited because he forgot that Mother still thought they were the only ones who found odd what they were taught in school. He was glad to tell her there's nothing to be afraid of, as the soldiers were in the middle of informing everyone about The Truth, and they were planning debriefings.

„I told Bernard The Truth!" he said to his mother enthusiastically.

„What truth?" she knitted her brows.

„You know that there aren't any books from before humanity shielded itself from the titans. And it's strange. And I also told him about what Father told me yesterday." Erwin started speaking fast with ardour, rarely stopping to drew breath. „So this was in the lunch break, and we were outside at the fence and two soldiers heard us talking because we didn't notice them and they asked us about it, and I lied at first, I'm sorry, I know lying is a bad thing, but they were kind and they gave me another chance so I told them The Truth, and they thanked us and they give us permission to spend the afternoon as we'd like to!"

His mother's reaction wasn't one he imagined before – he expected surprise, relief or glee. Instead, his mother just stared at the wall behind him, with a glassy expression. The look went on for long, and Erwin started to feel uncomfortable.

„They were really nice…" he said, keen to break the silence. „One of them told me I could do well in the Military Police. Oh, and you know what else did they tell us?" The blond boy felt foolish that he left out the most important piece of the conversation. „They are writing letters, because they want to inform everyone, and then they will ask people questions, uncovering the mystery. Just that they weren't finished with the letters, so that's why nobody knows about it. They told us to keep it a secret until then. We need to wait." He frowned, then became joyful again. „So, there's no need for me to join the Military Police, but I want to Mother, I really want to. I will be so good, I will do everything to get in, I promise you I will get in! And the soldier told me…" through his jabber, he noticed his mother opening her mouth, then closing it. Her face had the same empty expression the whole time while Erwin was talking, but now, it seemed like she was finally answering. She opened her mouth again, and he needed to listen carefully to what she said as it was nothing but a breath of words.

„In the lunch break..."

She said nothing more, and Erwin was thinking hard to figure out what she meant.

„I'm so sorry about lying. It was very wrong of me." he said, watching his mother. He really needed to get her out of this state.

She did nothing besides aimlessly running her fingers over the table. Erwin tried again.

„I'm sorry too for breaking the rules by leaving the building for lunch break. But we met Father and he let us do it."

At that, she looked at him like she was seeing him the first time. Her brown eyes bore into his, her hands inching towards his, until their skin touched, and she closed two of her fingers on two of Erwin's.

„Erwin" she started, hoarse, then she cleared her throat, and begun anew. „Erwin, could you tell me what happened in the lunch break again?"

Erwin certainly did not like his mother's voice. It was like she was straining to get the words out. He complied, talking slower and calmer this time, watching Mother the whole time. As he reached the part when the soldiers arrived, she let his hand go. When he continued and repeated what he told them, she became pale, and her right hand flew up to her mouth, pushing down on it hard.

Erwin stopped talking, concerned.

„Mother?"

She started shaking, and she gripped the sides of the table, her knuckles turning white. Her trembling got the whole table moving too. Erwin's bowl and the spoon made a clinking sound.

Erwin suddenly felt a wave of dread imbue him, and his stomach clenched as a dark thought started growing in his mind.

„Mother?!" his voice sounded nothing like his own. It was high-pitched and shaky.

She suddenly pulled her hand from her mouth and grabbed Erwin by his hand.

„Erwin, when did you last see your father?" her voice now was loud, exigent.

„In the lunch break-"

„You didn't see him after that?"

„N-no… Mother…wh-"

Her eyes searched his face, frenzied.

„Did you give them our name?"

„Y-yes-"

„Your father's name? My name? Do they know _your_ name?"

„I told you they asked-"

„Address?"

„Mother, wha-"

„Did you tell them our address?!"

„N-no… Mother… _what is going on?!_" he cried out his last phrase.

Erwin felt fear tearing through him, forcing all other emotions aside. He never saw his mother in a state like this.

She murmured something to herself, looking down, but her son didn't hear it. She let his hand go, and leaned back in her chair. Her face was contorted, her whole body shaken. Erwin' sight was fixed on his mother, searching for something, anything to tell him what _happened_ to them, and why did it felt so **wrong**. She stood up suddenly, nearly knocking her chair over, and rushed into the bedroom. Erwin heard his own door open, and some hurried movement.

„Erwin, come here!" On Mother's voice, Erwin stood up stiffly, and tried to bring his legs to move quickly, but it was like walking in water. His head was swirling with thoughts, some appearing and disappearing in seconds, but there was the one – the one he first noticed after he told Mother the events of the day a second time – the one that came unexpectedly and now held its place stubbornly, not leaving him. The possible truth of it terrified him – he felt hard to breathe, like his lungs were slowly getting full with something heavy, little by little.

In the room, a satchel was on Erwin's bed, and his mother was busy packing it, stuffing it full with Erwin's clothes – the boy's eyes fixed on the bag devouring his shirts, socks, his underwear...

„Mother-" his voice cracked. Something was very wrong.

„Erwin, calm down."

The boy closed his mouth at once. His mother sounded calm and normal as always, the only sign telling him otherwise was the trembling of her hands as she closed the bag. She took Erwin's hand gently, and led him to the parent's bedroom, dropping down the satchel on the bed. She moved to the nightstand, and got out a little sack, reached in, and pulled out a small amount of money. She stepped in front of Erwin and knelt down, her good smell reaching his nose, and her brown locks nearly sweeping him. The blue-eyed boy looked at her, shuddering, and a weird force pulled his mouth tight. His mother reached out her empty hand, and stroked his hair like countless times before, and she _smiled_.

„I love you, sweetheart."

Erwin nearly missed the small sob. It was him who released it. The dark thought finally gained its completion and gone loose, crashing the other hopeful ones in his head. It roared its unquestioned victory, claiming his mind with a threat to suffocate him with its meaning. His knees trembled, while his eyes got clouded by tears, tried to find safety in his mother's brown ones desperately.

„I was bad."

Mother pulled him to herself, and held him tightly.

„No, Erwin. You weren't bad."

But her answer did nothing to stop the words flooding from his mouth loudly between shallow breaths and sobs.

„Mother, I was bad! I did a bad thing! I shouldn't have! I shouldn't have told the soldiers! I shouldn't have told Bernard! It was a secret! I had no right to tell! I did wrong! I'm a bad person! I shouldn't have... you and Father…trouble… because of me… my fault…" his voice cracked and dissolved into several short sobs. The tremor of his body didn't stop, and he couldn't see - his tears rolled down on his cheeks constantly, never ending, never breaking, and landed on his mother's shoulder, soiling her blouse. The mere force of his outburst could have caused him to fall down on his knees, if his mother haven't been holding him.

Mother's grasp tightened on him, then she pulled away to look him in the eye. Her regard was strong, unyielding.

„No, Erwin. _Listen to me._ You did nothing wrong - nothing wrong. You're **not** a bad person. I don't want to hear that **ever** again, do you hear me?" her voice held so much honesty, so much _strength_ that it _did_ cut off Erwin's sobbing. His tears continued falling, and he was still shaking, but it was silent. Mother's hand found the pocket of his vest, slipping the money inside. When she pulled her hand out, she stroked the outside of his clothes, then took his two hands in hers.

„Erwin. I need you to listen to me very carefully. Can you do that?"

He nodded, drawing in a deep breath.

„Right now, I need you to be strong. No more crying."

„Yes, Mother." said Erwin, trying to collect himself.

She ran her thumb over his upturned palms, the motion soothing him a little.

„I'm going to send you to your grandmother. You need to head out soon. I packed you a few clothes, and there's money in your pocket. You have to go alone." She looked away from his face for a moment, glancing out the window. „I'm going to wait for your father. As soon as he arrives, we are going to go after you. We will meet and Granny's house. Do you understand?"

„Yes, Mother." Erwin said obediently.

„Repeat what I've said."

„I will go to Grandmother and wait for you and Father there. I have money, and I have some clothes with me." recited Erwin.

„Good boy." said Mother, stopping for a bit before continuing. „Don't tell Granny why are you there. Just tell her we needed to leave the house. Tell her we will be coming soon. Don't speak to anyone on the way there. Let me hear it."

„I won't tell Grandmother why am I there. I will tell her you will be coming soon. I won't speak to anyone."

His mother squeezed his hand, visibly content, and stood up, holding his hand. She grabbed the satchel and led him out in the kitchen.

„Mother?" Erwin spoke, his voice weak.

„Yes, Erwin?"

„Where is Father?"

Mother's hands quivered as she adjusted his collar. She didn't answer.

_Knock. Knock._

Somebody was at the door.

They both turned towards the noise, tensing. None of them moved.

Three knocks.

„Open up, Military Police!"

Mother drew in a quick breath, dropped the bag behind them, then turned back to him.

„Erwin" her voice was nervous, but as insisting as before. „Look at me." He locked eyes with her.

„This is very important. You have to promise me something."

Erwin nodded.

More knocks, louder.

„When I open that door, you do whatever I say-„

„Military Police, open the door!"

„Whatever I tell you, you do it immediately-"

„Mrs. Smith!"

„Without question-"

„If you don't open the door, we are obligated to push in!"

„Just a moment!... _Promise me._"

Her hands shook on his shoulders.

„Promise me, Erwin."

„I promise, Mother."

Her eyes softened.

„I love you, Erwin. My beautiful, sweet boy."

She bent down and kissed his forehead gently, then walked to the door and opened it. Outside, there were two soldiers – he recognized one of them. It was the man called Mark with whom he and Bernard spoke. The boy couldn't tear his eyes away from him. The fear upon seeing the man banished all other feelings from Erwin.

„Mrs. Smith?" asked the other one. „Can we come in?"

Without waiting for an answer, the two men invaded their kitchen. Erwin glimpsed a carriage in front of the house, before the door closed after them. Altough their kitchen wasn't small, Erwin and his mother instinctively pulled closer to each other, when the soldiers came in. Their backs were towards the bedrooms – Mark stopped at the kitchen table, but the other stayed at the opposite wall. Mark spoke first.

„Our sincerest apologies for bulging in. I'm Mark Nagel and he is Gale Brown. I have the good fortune of knowing this young man, isn't that right, Erwin?" Mark winked at him. The boy squeezed his mouth shut and said nothing. It didn't discourage Mark. "Are you Clara Smith?"

Mother gave no reaction, but Mark continued, undisturbed.

„It is quite late, so I won't beat around the bushes." he flashed a small smile. „As we got to know today, you and your husband, Aidan Smith know about an interesting theory concerning certain books. I hope I don't need to go into details."

„Theory?" asked Mother in a surprised tone.

„Exactly."

Erwin's mother sighed, feigning tiredness.

„What kind of theory could you possibly mean? I'm an actress, I play pieces at the theatre. You think I have the time and energy to draw up theories beside doing my job, and raising a teenage boy full of mischief?" She pushed her fingers through Erwin's hair, ruffling it a bit. „And I assume you know very well, sir, that my husband is a history teacher. The only theory he got time about thinking is to decide whether he uses Saturday or Sunday for a day off." She stifled a yawn, dropping her hand on Erwin's shoulder.

Mark's smile only got wider.

„Don't need to be so defensive, Mrs. Smith. We are just asking questions." his gaze wandered off to Erwin for a while, just to go back and fix on his mother's face. The other soldier, Gale, didn't say anything, but his eyes were on Erwin. The boy looked down on his feet to avoid looking at the man. He knew what he needed to do now was to stay quiet and listen, but he barely managed standing up straight with the intimidation emanating from the other side of the kitchen.

„I really don't know what do you think you could get out of this, sir. Do you want to search our house for banned material?" Mother let out a small laugh. „I can assure you, you wouldn't find a thing. But even if you don't believe me, you definitely need to have an order ready to begin the search. Which, I suppose, you don't have at this late hour."

„Very impressive, Mrs. Smith. You sure are capable of defending your family." Mark stepped one step forward, and Erwin felt his mother tense next to him. „But there's no need for that. As I was saying, we just want to ask questions. The young man here told us in his lunch break that you and your husband have… _noticed_ that there's something not exactly clear about the times humanity came to live inside the Walls. Well, I don't know if your son told you, but we, and the higher authorities came across it too, naturally. We were planning on telling people the information via letters – unfortunately, the people trusted with this task are still working on that. Until it's finished, it needs to be a secret. We also want to investigate further, so we need to question people, and also that how much do they exactly know. These interviews by all means are going to mean a huge help in future studies. That's why we are here, Mrs. Smith."

_It was a lie. All the things they said, the whole thing was a lie._ Erwin would have felt anger if his mind wouldn't have been surrounded by a fog of despair, paralysing him.

„Am I right to believe these _interviews _aren't obligatory?" Mother asked in an innocent tone.

„I'm afraid not." the man seemed to get a little irritated as he moved his weight from one leg to another. „These questionings are obligatory. The data are extremely valuable, and we can't just let people decide if they want to participate or not, I hope you understand. After all, it's about all of humanity. We need to question people as soon as we find out they know about the subject."

„You mean, sir, that you came here to interview me? Late at night?"

„That's correct. In fact, we need to bring you to our headquarters."

Mother's eyebrows lifted and they almost disappeared under her fringe.

„Right now?"

Mark nodded severely. „I assure you, we wouldn't do this, if it weren't absolutely necessary."

Mother sighed. „Fine by me, as long as we get to eat and drink. You surprised us in the middle of the dinner as you see." she gestured towards Erwin's bowl, still half full with soup. „Oh, and I have a couple of questions before we go." Erwin would have panicked if he wasn't sure his mother was planning something.

„Oh. Go ahead." smiled Mark. It looked like he was completely at ease now.

„What branch of the Military does this project actually belong to? The Garrison? The Military Police? The Scouting Legion?"

„The Military Police, of course."

„ I see. Only one other thing - I need to ask you to bring Erwin with us – he is only a boy, after all." Erwin felt her hand squeeze his shoulder, and he sensed this wasn't just a reassuring touch. It was a sign.

„That's all right, Mrs. Smith." nodded Mark jovially. Erwin felt his mother moving slightly backwards, stopping, then moving again. „We can't possibly leave him alone in the house-"

„Oh. Why do you think he would be alone if we left him here?"

Mark blinked at her, confused.

„I mean, Aidan is home… he's asleep right here, in the bedroom." Mother pointed at the door behind her back, turning a little bit, while she pushed Erwin slightly back with her other hand, avoiding favorably the soldiers' line of sight. Both of them were busy staring at her face, stunned.

„Wh-what?" stuttered the one called Gale.

They were completely disoriented, it was clear to Erwin. He was still scared, but thanks to his mother, for a moment, they got the upper hand. The blue-eyed boy watched them, searching for something, anything visible that can tell the true nature of these soldiers. As he studied them, his eyes raking through their uniforms, he got that strange feeling again that something's not quite right. Everything was in place – the katana, the Three Dimensional Maneouver Gear, the straps, the pants, the shirt, the jacket… still, something was off.

„Aren't you need him to come with us, too?" Mother turned to him. „Erwin, go, wake up your father."

Gale dropped his jaw. „What are you saying? But he is-"

„Gale, shut up!" interrupted him Mark hastily, then turned fully towards him, closing the distance to whisper something to his comrade angrily.

This gave Mother enough time to sweep her leg forward, then back again with momentum. Her leg collided with the satchel, kicking it backwards to the parent's bedroom. The officers didn't see it, being busy arguing. She bent down a little, and lowered her voice, so that only Erwin could hear her.

„Erwin, go! Get out of here, use the back door and run! Do as I say!"

Erwin felt his chest contracting.

„Mother…" he shivered. „what will happen to you? And Father?"

„I will be fine." she whispered, her hand closing on his upper arm, pressing hard. „He will be fine. You promised me you'd do as I say. Run! You promised-" her voice broke.

The soldiers stopped arguing and turned towards them, but his mother was standing up straight already, revealing no intent to flee.

„Mrs. Smith, we need to wake up your husband unfortunately. He has to come too." said Mark, voice calm, but his eyes searching Mother's face for any sign of betrayal.

Mark was looking at his mother, Gale was looking at his mother, and Erwin was looking at his mother, too.

There was silence for a while, and the air was heavy with a sort of tension the blond boy never felt before. Mother spoke next.

„What a pity." Her lips quivered, eyes wet. „A pity that you two know **exactly** that Aidan's not here."

The next moment several things happened at the same time. Gale pushed himself away from the wall, Mark moved towards them, and Mother kicked over the kitchen table. It landed inches away from Mark's leg, the drawings, the books and the bowl plummeting with loud noise, but it didn't matter to her. She spun around and pushed her son in the bedroom rapidly. Erwin lost his balance and fell backwards.

„Run!" Mother cried, then with one swoop of her arm and a whip of her brown locks, tears scattering through the air, she turned around and shut the door, locking him out of the kitchen.

Erwin's hand landed on the bag as he pulled himself up from the ground. He pulled the band over his head, securing the satchel to his body. The voices of Mother and the two men reached his ear through the loud, red throbbing what filled his head.

„**Where** is Aidan?! _Where is he?!"_ shrieked his mother. „What did you **do** to him?!"

The men's voice was loud and incomprehensible. Next, the boy heard a series of muffled thuds.

„Get off me!"

Erwin's fist slammed on the door, but it didn't move. He heard fast movement of bodies, wrestling, swearing and angry cries of Mother. His heart hammered in his chest while he tried to get inside the kitchen, pushing himself to the wooden surface.

„MOTHER!" he let out a loud scream.

„ERWIN!" she yelled back. "Get out of here! You PROMISED! Do as I say-" her voice got cut off. There was a short whimpering, then silence fell, and he only could hear some shuffling sound. A male voice broke the eerie silence.

„Get the kid."

Suddenly, Erwin felt his legs moving towards the back door. It was almost like a dream. His hands clutched on the band of his bag as he trotted to his bedroom. Tears were streaming down his cheek, and he wanted to go back. _Stop, right now. Turn around. I'm going back._ But his legs didn't obey. Like they had a mind of their own, they led him to the back door, and his hands joined them in betraying him, as they opened it.

He heard as the handle of the other bedroom door creaked, creaked again, then the motion stopped.

„The bitch locked the door!"

He was already on the terrace as the noise of a heavy body crashing against wood reached him.

„Fuck! He's going to escape! Round the house!"

„You go after him- I can't leave her here like this."

**Promise me, Erwin.**

**I promise, Mother.**

Erwin felt as if his mind turned off, and his body took complete control of his movements. He stumbled down the stairs, and after reaching the ground, he started running without a moment of hesitation. He got around the house incredibly fast, arrived at the road, glimpsed a silhouette of a man standing in front of their house. He didn't stop, just ran past the carriage. A voice broke through the night. He didn't hear the words. The muscles in his body moved in perfect unison, driving him forward, away from the house. Away from the loud, fast footsteps behind him, away from the presence, the hands reaching out to catch him, away from the light coming from the street lamps of their street or another, into an alleyway or another, getting farther and farther away from home, but at the same time, farther away from the one following him. He didn't slow down, he didn't stumble, he didn't fall. He still heard running footsteps and breathing as they tore through the air, but it wasn't coming from right behind him now, it was coming from the other side of the corner, or from another street.

Erwin ran. It was the only thing he could do.

Then, the noises stopped all the way, and after a while, Erwin stopped too. As the feeling of danger started to subside, his senses also started to come back. For a moment, the boy couldn't see anything else, just a blur, couldn't hear anything else, just his own heavy breathing and couldn't feel anything else, just the fast heaving of his chest, the hammering of his heart, and the hardness of the ground below his feet. Slowly, gradually, his eyesight became clear and he could take a look at his surroundings. He was in an alleyway. He stood still, listening carefully, feeling the chill of the night on his skin. Nothing moved. A few minutes passed, and he came to realize that the man following him lost his trace. It didn't ease his mind. He stood there, in the middle of the night and in the middle of an alleyway, alone. He didn't know for how long he stood there, but when his breathing went back to normal, an idea appeared in his mind. He took the idea, and observed it profoundly, and when he found that he found nothing wrong with it, he ordered himself to carry it out. He chose his right leg, concentrating hard. When he lifted it up and placed it back to the ground, further in front of him, he rejoiced the success. Nothing bad happened, and it was an encouragement to take another step. Another. And another. It became easier with every step, and not long after, he was walking smoothly.

Soon, another thought popped in his head. The alleyway became a place to discover. So he discovered it. There was nothing in it but garbage, and it wasn't very well lit. He found out that it was in fact, a dead end, having only one opening to a street. A dead end.

It seemed his mind was keeping itself from bursting until now, for it concentrated only on his survival and safety. But now, something breached... Images, voices and feelings flashed through his head and he dropped to his knees.

He saw his mother, as she closed the kitchen door and locked him out. He saw the soldier called Mark smiling. He saw Bernard as he disappeared in his house. He saw his Father in front of the blackboard in the classroom. He saw Mother and Father dancing. He saw Bernard eating an apple. He saw the soldiers smiling at them encouragingly…

These, and more memories flashed through his mind, overwhelming him, but the attack slowly died down, and he got back the control over his thoughts.

The first thing to came to his mind was that he has to go back to the house. Mother was there, and he did not know what happened to her. He had to help her.

**Get out of here! You PROMISED! Do as I say-**

_Her voice got cut off. There wasn't any noise from her after that. _

**I can't leave her here like this.**

Will they bring her to the headquarters? Do they want to catch him first so they can take them both? Are they waiting for him to go back?

_Definitely._ If he goes back, they will catch him, as they did with his mother.

**You promised me you'd do as I say.**

_Where is Father? What have they done to Mother?_

Reason told him not to go back because he can't save her. Even if he goes back, and they are still there, he can't fight down two adult men. And they were soldiers – they _were_ trained to win. He can't call for help either, as they were from the Military Police. But reason wasn't strong enough. He was about to race himself to go…

**We will meet and Granny's house.**

_I can't go to Grandmother, if I would go, then she would be in danger, too…_

The hopelessness of the situation weighed him dow, and he wrapped his arms around himself.

_What do I do?_

His eyes begun to sting, his throat clenched and he became angry.

_Is the only thing I can do is to cry?!_

He was alone, in the middle of the night, in an alleyway, at a dead end…

_Wait._

Dead end. Sewers. Bernard.

**Hey, do you remember, yesterday when I asked Mr. Smith that question in the end of the lesson?**

_Bernard._

**Let's talk about what my father told me yesterday.**

Bernard.

**Come here to us then boys, and tell us everything. Starting with your names.**

His parents weren't the only ones in danger.

**While you're with me, you're going to be okay.**

There was another thing Erwin could do. He _had_ to do. He stood up and walked out of the alleyway.

End of Chapter Two

To be continued

The scared boy

29 june 2014

**A.N.:**** Thanks for reading it! I hope you liked it. Reviews, Comments, Favourites, Follows would mean a lot to me, constructive criticism is highly welcomed!**

**I put this fic up on Ao3 too. ;)**

**You can ask me to write prompts, and if I have enough inspiration and time, I will do them :)**

**Message me, if you'd like :)**

**Find me on Tumblr: .com**

**Have a good day / night!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N.: For warnings, disclaimers, etc. see Chapter One.**

**The scared boy**

**Chapter Three**

Erwin stepped out from the alleyway, carefully looking around. There was no sign of soldiers or anybody else. Fortunately, he didn't get too far from their own street, and knew the way back. He breathed in shakily, then steeled himself and started off. He walked with quick, quiet steps, thankful for the night borrowing him imperceptibility. _This is just hide-and-seek._

He moved past buildings which he saw every day, but they were not the same - he had a strange feeling that didn't leave him alone - they were changed.

_I have to hurry._

When a thought of his mother or father came into his mind, he shut them off, secured them in the back of his mind, and concentrated on the only thing what mattered now: saving Bernard.

He felt his whole body carrying out the orders his brain gave: move carefully, search for human presence, keep your head down. _Hide-and-seek._

He got to the house of Bernard from the backyard without coming across anyone, and he hid under the small terrace. He picked up faint human voices, but he couldn't distinguish the source. It could come from the street or another house.

He climbed up the few stairs and pushed down the hinge of the back door. It opened. He slipped inside quietly and let his eyes get accustomed to the semi-darkness. The only light was coming from outside, and even if the room was quite small, there were a lot of shadow-covered corners inside.

Erwin, realizing that the contrast of light and dark is only making his orientation difficult, closed the door behind him and waited for his sight to clear out. He took in his surroundings. While that happened, he strained his ears, but didn't hear much.

_Bernard and his mother are probably sleeping._

His perception became clearer, and he took sight of the furniture. Not far from him, there was a small bed, a night table and a wooden chest in one corner of the room. Next to the opposite wall, there stood a larger bed. A thin rag rug covered the floor. One of its corner was flipped.

Erwin suddenly realized where he was. It was the Mont's bedroom. And they weren't in it. Erwin walked over to the door which led into the big room. Pushing his ear to the wooden surface, he tried to listen for sounds – noises from the kitchen, voices of Bernard or his mother. It wasn't too late for them to be still awake. But there wasn't any sound that reminded him of the shy boy or any woman voice. Only two male voices came through that door. And he recognised one of them. His stomach lifted down then back up. He brought his head down to see through the keyhole. There was no light coming through. Erwin's body was strung like the rope for drying clothes. He tried to guess the exact source of the voices. They weren't so close, so Erwin made his choice. He crouched, put his hand on the hinge and slowly pushed it down. It creaked a little, but Erwin judged it safe to continue. He pushed the door, but it didn't move. He tried pulling it towards him instead and it started opening. He turned himself to the other side of the frame to remain hidden, engulfed by the shadows, keeping his hand on the hinge so he could close the door in case of danger. The door opened. Erwin blinked. Something moved. He flung the door closed, but he didn't run. He listened for any sound of approaching, but none came. Seconds passed away with Erwin's body pushed close against the wood, his hands holding the hinge tightly, the cold object finding its familiarity with his cold skin. Faint sprays of human voices found their way to his ear: the two male voices again… and a whimper from another human. Erwin opened the door and stared into the darkness of the big room.

Something was moving. He didn't close the door, but stepped in, leaving the door open behind him. Something was moving and he noticed that its source was the kitchen. The big room was dark. Erwin was afraid he would be noticed if he chose to walk so to avoid it, he knelt down and crawled towards the kitchen. He was moving slowly, every sense of his sharpening. The carpet was rough between his fingers and his knee started to ache from the friction from the floor. He was nearing silently the kitchen door, which was partly open. The movements and the undistinguished voices came from there. Erwin moved carefully so he wouldn't be seen from the kitchen. _Hide-and-seek._

Halfway through the room, he noticed that the voices got clearer, but they still weren't loud enough for him to recognize the words. Only whispers. Erwin couldn't understand them, so he crawled closer.

Then he saw it. There was a bundle on the ground, not far from him. Not too big, not too small. He crawled closer. A smell reached his nose. Something metallic, something sickening. Erwin's stomach turned. It was a human. It was a child. He was lying on the floor, on his back, facing away from Erwin. He could only see the top of his head. Brown locks sprayed on his forehead, nothing like the carefully combed hair Erwin saw that afternoon. The child didn't move. He didn't make any sound. The air was frozen around him. Erwin moved to his side to see his face, feeling like an intruder. The smell got stronger. He felt cold creeping up from his legs to his chest. He took in the features of the child's face. He closed his eyes and opened them again, wishing it was only the illusion of his mind.

It wasn't.

It was Bernard. He was lying down there, with his eyes closed, his lips slightly open, the inside of his mouth, and the row of his teeth showing. He was lying on the carpet, his hands and legs sprayed around him, like he was only taking a nap.

He wasn't. Erwin's eyes found his wound. Wounds. It wasn't difficult to find. Bernard's shirt was split open, two long lines marked the edges of the cut cloth. Two long, red lines. One of them reached the boy's neck and jaw. Erwin used his hands to squat himself closer, and when he placed his hands next to Bernard's body, he felt the carpet wet and sticky under him. He lifted his fingers up to inspect them. They were wet and colored dark. Blood. Erwin put his right hand on his friend's face. Through the stickiness of the blood, he could only feel the coldness of his face. With his left hand, he searched for one of Bernard's. When he found it, he could only feel cold. He listened into the air above him. Bernard didn't breathe.

Erwin tightened the hold of his hands. He didn't hear his friend's breathing, but what he did hear now, was the loudening voice of the two men. His mind, relieved to have something else to concentrate on, focused on the dialogue.

„We're dead men."

„ Don't worry, Litta. We did the job."

„ The job was to bring them in for interrogation!"

„And to kill them."

„AFTER the interrogation! You don't understand, you little idiot!" the man called Litta sounded anxious.

„The captain told us to bring them in for questioning! Stop acting like you did the right thing!"

„The woman attacked me!"

„Yeah, and what did you do? Sliced her open, that's what you did! The fuck were you thinking she's going to do?! That old woman?! What the fuck are we gonna do now?!

„Calm down, Litta! I said it's going to be fine!"

„You – you dumbass you think you say something and that's gonna be like that? The fuck?! How long have you been with us, like- six month?! You don't even know how are things going on around here! Shit. Shit! You arrogant little prick, fuck, why couldn't Nixa come, fuck…"

„I don't know what are you so mad about. The woman probably knew nothing."

„That's it, probably! Probably! And the kid, fuck, the kid was important! He was a primary suspect…"

„Well, what's done is done. We can't do anything about it."

„You fucking animal, you still don't understand! The captain will kill us! He will order us killed! Got that with that tiny brain of yours?! This is not some job you picked up from the local newspaper!

Here, if you make a mistake they won't smile at you kindly! They won't scold you! They won't fire you!"

„We did the job. It will be fine."

After an angry huff, there was a constant noise of footsteps shuffling on the kitchen floor.

„Shit, I can't believe this! And you- you pulled me down with you, they gonna kill me too, because of you! After all I did! Capturing that teacher, I was fucking great! It was perfect! I could've been promoted, and you- you asshole, you fucked up everything- I… I'm a dead man. The fuck do I do now?! I have to get the hell out of here…"

„What?! You're not coming back with me?!"

„What did you expect?! I told you, we are dead! I'll probably will be hunted down even if I left right now…"

„You are overreacting…" The voice of the man seemed uncertain for the first time.

„Please, PLEASE, Nathaniel, take that little brain of yours, and if there's only a part of it which is not full of bloodthirst, USE IT for once!"

„I'm USING IT! Even if we made a mistake here, Mark and Gale will bring back the other kid and his mother."

„IT DOESN'T MATTER! They will still kill us!"

„The others wouldn't let them."

The man's laugh was hysteric.

„Yeah, right! Who the fuck let you in anyway? How did you get in? You sucked off someone or what? Fuck this… Nixa, what was so important-"

„So, what are we gonna do?"

„What are YOU gonna do! I'm getting the hell out of here!"

„What?! But…"

„I suggest you get rid of the bodies. Or whatever. You'll be dead soon, so you could leave them if you'd like. Good luck for what's left of your life!"

„Wait!"

Erwin was kneeling beside his friend, one hand on his cold one, grasping it, trying to breathe. The kitchen's door pushed open, casting light on Erwin's face.

There he stood, the tall man from the lunch break, his head still turned towards the kitchen, stepping closer and closer to Erwin.

„Fuck off, Nathaniel!"

The other man appeared behind him and managed to grab his arm, just the moment the soldier's eyes reached the two boys on the floor.

The two guards stared at Erwin and Erwin stared back. The time seemed to come a halt. Then, the blond boy's hands slipped off Bernard's and he slowly stood up, never taking his eyes off the men. He felt the weight of the satchel on his shoulders and the pain of being on his knees slowly subsided. His lips were trembling. He wanted to say something, but nothing came out of his mouth.

A quiet huff escaped Nathaniel, while Litta's eyes went wide at the sight.

„The kid…" Litta said in a shaky voice.

„What?" whispered Nathaniel.

They were talking softly like they were afraid they will scare him off.

„That's the kid… the other kid…"

Erwin eyes dropped down and he could see into the kitchen through the open door. The cast of the street light caught on a fabric tossed on the floor. The cloth was blue. _Blue skirt, red flowers._

Erwin looked back at the soldiers, and saw that they didn't move. The way to the open bedroom door felt like a lighted path behind him. He saw Litta look behind him, then back at him. Erwin took a step back. Then, another.

Litta launched himself towards Erwin, just to be surprised when the boy launched himself forward too.

Erwin felt the band of his bag pressing tightly into his shoulders – it was from his movement. He set his eyes on the front door, sensing that Nathaniel was still too shocked to move, and that his choice surprised Litta too. He reached towards Erwin, but he dodged his arms and managed to avoid him.

The only thing which occupied Erwin's mind was escaping. The momentum he used to slip past Litta threw him onto the surface of the door, which opened and he fell through it. He arrived hardly on the terrace, his blood covered hands stopping his fall, and immediately getting him up. His right hand slipped on the floor twice before he got up. Ignoring his knee which ached from the kneeling and the fall, he started to run as fast as he could – now twice in that night. He heard the whispering sounds of his chasers, heard their footsteps behind him, but he knew if he would let a lone doubt in his mind he would fail – fail rescuing himself as he failed rescuing… _Bernard…_

Erwin ran past several alleyways and turned three corners. He kept running, and he flipped his head backwards from time to time; he didn't see them approaching- but he heard their footsteps and felt their breath on his neck- _They are coming for me, coming for me…_

He ran and the next moment he ran into something, and the crash threw up his balance. He fell on his back, hands desperately trying to get a hold. The impact knocked out the air from his lungs so now he had to take shallow, rapid breaths and in the same time his thoughts were racing. _They caught me, I'm going to die, they will kill me-_

„Smith?" asked a familiar voice above him.

Alan Keatley.

Erwin looked at him for a moment, dumbfounded, then everything came back. _Run, hide, escape, hide._

He jumped back on his feet, and got around Alan, who looked at him in utter shock.

„Smith, what are you doing here? What is up with you running like that…" his voice faltered, but Erwin didn't pay him any attention. His eyes were busy searching through the area, when he felt hands strongly grip him, and turn him around. He stared at the boy in front of him, and Keatley stared at his hands. They were still covered in blood. The blood of Bernard.

Alan's eyes grew wide, and he let his hands slip from Erwin's shoulders. The expression on his face went from surprised and confused too shocked and scared.

„Erwin…" Keatley's voice wasn't like his usual. There was no taunting, no shouting, no loud delight. Only fear.

Erwin felt his mind make the decision as it did when he fled the Mont house. Forward, not backward.

„Alan, help me!" He took the other boy's arm, and dragged him in the alleyway next to them.

Erwin felt Alan's ragged breath, and he listened to footsteps other than their own, but he heard nothing.

He stepped more into the alleyway, and that's when he realized that it was a dead end.

_This is not good…_

He dragged Keatley closer anyway that their faces almost touched. The fear from the bigger boy's body seemed to emanate towards him, and strangely, it made Erwin more sure of himself.

He looked Alan in the eye, and spoke.

„I have to hide. I have to escape. You didn't see anything. This is very important, Alan, very important. Don't say a thing."

„Erwin, what are you talking about-„ the boy's voice hitched.

In the meantime, Erwin's eyes took in the dead end, and they fell upon a sewer cover. His mind made up the connections in a second: a dead end- Bernard- the sewers. _There's a chance, there's a chance._

He let go of Alan's arm and got down on his knees crawling on the stone next to the sewer cover.

His fingers slipped into the gap and he tried to lift the cover with one, strong movement, but it was too heavy. He breathed out, and tried again.

„Erwin…" Alan came closer. His voice had an unnatural tone. „Why is there blood on your hands?"

Erwin waved Keatley closer until the boy was kneeling next to him.

„Help me with this."

„No." It was a bad time for Alan to find his confidence.

Erwin heard footsteps approaching, and he instantly knew it was them. He felt fear making his stomach clench and he grabbed the other boy's arm roughly.

„Bernard…" he whispered. „He was… they…" He stopped. He couldn't say it.

„Help me, Alan!" Erwin pleaded. His voice was starting to tremble in a way of copying his body. His eyes bore into Alan's and he saw that whatever the other boy saw in them helped him make the final decision.

They crouched again and lifted the cover off together. The footsteps came closer. It seemed Alan only noticed it then.

„Someone's coming!" he breathed into Erwin's ear, while the blond boy already grabbed the first step of the ladder.

Erwin looked at Alan.

„It's them. The soldiers. They…" Erwin breathed in. His right leg was in the search for the second step. „Bernard…" He couldn't say it.

_Alan can't come with me. I have to save him._

_At least him._

He reached out his left hand and punched the boy's right leg, which gave in instantly. He fell back, then stared at Erwin who slowly pulled the cover over his head.

„Don't say anything. You haven't seen me. Stand up!"

Erwin got down a few steps and pulled the cover close.

It was very dark there, only a thin straw of light illuminated the tight place he was in. It came from a little round hole in the cover above him. He could hear the breathing of Alan and a little while later, the movements of him standing up. The footsteps on the stone came to a halt just then. Erwin strained his ears. His bag was pressing into his back painfully.

„Hey, you, kid!"

Erwin closed his eyes and tightened his hold on the ladder.

He heard the breathing of Alan hitch.

„I asked you, kid!"

„Y-yes, sir?" the boy's voice trembled.

_This is not good. Not good._

„Have you seen a boy like you running past here? Blond hair, blue eyes. He was shorter than you."

„No, sir." Came the immediate answer.

_Too soon._

„Hmm…" Erwin almost saw the soldiers facial expression. He heard footsteps coming closer.

„What if we don't believe you?" it was another voice.

_Both of them are here._

Erwin heard a scuffling noise and Alan's shriek.

_Don't hurt him… please…_

„I haven't seen him I swear!"

„Don't lie, you little shit!" He heard the voice threatening. „There's blood on your shirt and your clothes are dirty."

Alan fought no longer. The guards seemed to let go off him.

„It's true. I saw him."

Erwin gripped the ladder so hard he felt the iron bite into his skin.

„He ran into me. Pushed me into the dirt."

„Then?" rasped the voice.

„He ran off." Alan mumbled.

The next moment Erwin heard his short whimper.

„Then why didn't you tell this the first time?"

A whimper again.

„I was frightened!"

„Where did he go?!"

„There!"

„Are you lying?"

„No! I swear!"

„Are you lying?!"

„No!" Erwin heard a small sob. He didn't know why he didn't move before… but now it felt like he was glued to the iron bars. He was anticipating the loud noise of removing the cover, but he only heard a thump and a moan.

_Don't kill him, please, don't kill him…_

„If you're lying I swear I'm gonna…"

„Leave him! Catching the boy is our only chance."

Erwin heard a slap and a cry, immediately after.

„I said leave him!"

Then the footsteps were going away, and he still heard the shaky breathing of Alan.

Seconds passed by, then minutes. Erwin was hanging on the ladder, unmoving.

He heard the other boy getting up. Then there was nothing for a while, then slow shuffling, and the breathing of the boy became louder.

He was right at the sewer cover.

Still, nothing happened for a couple of seconds. Then…

„E-erwin…"

Then again, in that shaky voice.

„Erwin…"

Erwin didn't answer. He didn't move, he was controlling his breath.

_Not him._

_I can't bring him into this._

It was time for Erwin to decide where to go. The only thing which was clear for him now that he isn't supposed to go where Alan is. He still couldn't move.

It seemed like it was hours, but within a couple of minutes Alan got up.

_He is too scared to open the cover. Maybe there are bigger monsters down here then the monsters up there._

As he heard Alan's tentative footsteps going away, he fought off his tenseness and looked around him. The faint light coming from above let him see that the walls were close to him, he could barely turn around with his bag on his back. In fact, he couldn't look down. He listened carefully for another minute, but he heard nothing from above. Erwin struggled to take off his bag with only one hand, while the other desperately tried to hold his weight on the ladder. When he managed to take it off, he carefully turned and looked down. He could see a couple of steps under him, but the others disappeared into the darkness hanging below him. He kept being in that position until he felt himself getting dizzy. He turned around and pushed his forehead to his hand.

_I've already made my decision._

He turned around again and stared into the black space under him. He took a deep breath. Erwin wanted to know how long was the way down, and he couldn't move easily with the bag on his back, so he swung the bag tentatively, before letting it go.

He heard the thump, and he felt like the echo must have travelled through the sewers. He closed his eyes tightly. The noise slowly tailed away.

He opened his eyes and started climbing down the ladder. The deeper he got, the bigger the silence grew. Erwin felt goosebumps on his skin, not only from the unfamiliar quiet, but also from the air, which seemed getting colder. He kept descending and it got a little darker too, but as long as he could see the light above him, he could continue his way down.

Not long after, Erwin arrived at the bottom of the ladder and stepped down to the stone floor. He looked around. He was in a short tunnel leading to an underground water of sorts. His bag was lying not far from him. He grabbed it and carefully got to the end of the tunnel. It seemed that the light somehow found his way down here as he could see pretty well. The only sound he could hear was the sound of the water. He shivered.

_At least there are no people here._

_Bernard._

Everything came back to him in a rush and the bag slipped through his fingers, hitting the ground. He lifted his fingers close to his eyes. The blood was dry on them. Erwin scratched his palm with his nails and got off a small amount of blood. Then the smell reached his nose and he dropped to his knees next to the river. His stomach turned and his eyes were stinging. He put his hands in the cold water and tried to scrub off his hands. It seemed like hours passed by, but when he looked at his hands again, it was still glistening with red liquid and the smell of blood filled his nose and Bernard was lying in his blood next to him and Mrs. Monts blue skirt had red roses on them and…

He retched and he felt Mother's soup coming up his throat and escape through his lips. He curled around himself and the darkness curled around him.

**To be continued**

**End of Chapter Three**

**The scared boy**

11 september 2014

**A.N:**

**Sorry for putting this up so late. I hope you realize why I had such a huge writer's block from this chapter.**

**But it's broken now, and I try to update the story more regularly. Thank you for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N.:**

**Tumblr friend of mine, minuke, drew an ubelievably beautiful fanart for the sewer scene of Chapter Three.**

**You can check it out here:**

** post/101883843042/some-fanarts-of-a-wonderful-bit-of#notes**

**As for the Chapter, I wanted to write it longer, adding more scenes, but it didn't seem to fit, so it's now a shorter chapter. I hope I can update with Chapter Five soon.**

**Thank you again for everyone's encouraging words, it keeps me motivated and gives me feels.**

**Thank you minuke, never stop drawing.**

**Reviews, constructive criticism, kudos, EVERYTHING is appreciated and encouraged.**

**The scared boy**

**Chapter Four**

Erwin didn't know how much time passed until he came to himself. He was kneeling beside the underground river, hugging himself in the semi-darkness, breathing the cool air, listening to the only sound around, which was the quiet lapping of the water.

His head felt heavy and at the same time, empty. Only the aching in his knees and the tight, hurting feeling in his lungs told him that he was alive. Alive.

Erwin felt his thoughts coming to the surface of his mind, but he didn't want to think. He knew exactly how much pain comes with his thoughts, and he didn't want to feel that pain again. So he forced his thoughts back and sealed them deep inside, where they couldn't bother him. The only thoughts he let through were connected to his physical feelings. It was good this way.

He let his arms drop to his side, and slid backwards until he was sitting on the ground, his feet in the air above the stream of water. He looked around and found his bag lying on the ground not far from him. It was dirty with a little break in the tissue, but there was no other damage. He pulled it close.

He became still, holding the bag, legs above the water, eyes staring at the opposite wall covered with some green vegetation, the cool air filling his aching lungs before he breathed out a slightly warmer air.

Time, like his thoughts were equally unimportant, however, his body seemed to notice the time passing, as it started to feel rigid, cold an uncomfortable. His neck was hurting from his hunched-down posture, the stone he was sitting was too cold and his feet felt freezing. After some time, he couldn't ignore the protests of his body, for it seemed to tell him to move - _to walk away_, but the thoughts he let out on the surface kept repeating stubbornly:

**I'm good here. There's no need to move.**

He lifted his hips and slid the bag under himself, leaning backwards on his hands. He pulled up his legs, bringing them away from the water, and everything seemed comfortable again, even if the coldness seemed to seep under his skin more and more.

Time passed again, and Erwin breathed and blinked, enjoying the peace of this new world he got into.

**This is good.**

The quiet was good. He closed his eyes, and breathed out slowly. His mind was bathing in the silence, and he felt his lips turning into a small smile. That was until another, unintended part of his thoughts came to the open, forcing him into an absurd conversation.

_What are you doing, sitting here, on the cold ground?_

**It's good here.**

_It's cold here. You shouldn't be here._

Erwin felt turmoil stir deep inside him. It wasn't the calm he felt before. He wanted it back. He didn't want these thoughts to disturb him.

But they were already awoken, and didn't want to go back to sleep again.

_It's dangerous, sitting here._

His awareness gradually came back as he took in his environment – the walls, the water flowing, the dirty, cold stone under him, the ladder in a little hatchway he got down, the entrance to other underground tunnels, inviting him, and at the same time, filling him with intranquility.

_You need to stand up._

**No, I'm good here.**

_You need to stand up. You're not out of danger._

More and more of his shunned thoughts came on the surface. Painful and bad, bad things. He didn't want to look at them.

**Why is this happening to me?**

Anger and pain wake inside him.

**I don't want this! I don't want this to happen! I want the things to be back as they were!**

Erwin felt wetness on his face, which soon reached his neck, tears dropping down on his clenched fists. His breath escaped him in a rush, and his whole body started to tremble.

**Why?**

_Don't think about that now. You need to find some place safe. They could still come back._

The pain was still there, but the raising fear was much stronger. The sobbing subsided.

They could still come back. The soldiers were searching for him. Four men, perhaps. Four. And he was alone, all alone in a place he didn't know. He looked around and pulled in his shoulders.

**I'm scared.**

_You were scared before. Yet you're still here._

Erwin felt his heart clench.

**But what does it worth if…**

He needed to say it. To say it to himself for the first time…

**Bernard and his mother… are… dead. They died.**

_They were killed. Slain. Murdered._

And…

**Mother and Father…**

_You do not know. You do not know what happened to them._

Erwin wrapped his arms around himself and closed his eyes tightly, feeling his eyes sting again.

_Think. Think of Father. Think of Mother. Do you really think it doesn't worth it? To be alive? To have something to… To find out if…_

**If they are… still…**

Erwin opened his eyes.

He got on his feet a little wobbily, lifted his bag off the ground, and pulled the band over his head.

The blond boy looked around the place again. There were multiple tunnels connecting sideways to the place he was in. A lot many ways to go.

He moved forward.

The man was in the chair without back – the one they used for the bad men. There was no shirt on him, showing the red stripes on his chest and shoulders. Some of them looked like his skin was broken, and red liquid was dripping from them. His head hung low, blond hair covering the upper part of his face. His arms and feet were tied – the former to each other behind him with a strong rope, the latter to the legs of the table. His breathing was slow and steady… for now.

This was what Levi observed when he stepped into the room – this and two men standing inside, one next to the chair, stirring a whip in his hand, and the other leaning on the opposite wall, looking bored. They barely glanced up when he slipped through the door and took his place next to it.

Together, they waited.

A while later, the door opened, and the Captain came in. The two man straightened, Levi turned towards him. The newcomer's eyes scanned the place, briefly stopping at the men, nodding as a greeting. When his eyes reached Levi, his strict expression changed, and a soft smile appeared on the strong face.

„I see you've managed to come. Very good, Levi, very good."

Finally, he turned towards the man in the chair, and his smile widened.

„Oh, our little birdie. Any change?"

„He said nothing more than what he told us the last time." said the man with the whip.

„What a pity. That's why you punished the birdie, right?" asked the Captain, walking towards the man, with his head tilted to the side. He didn't wait for an answer, instead reached into his jacket to pull out his black leather gloves. He crouched, but only touched the captive when his hands were properly covered. He gripped his jaw, and tilted his head back. The man's breathing hitched when he felt the touch, and as his hair fell back, they could see his eyes, unfocused, but startlingly blue – in fact, Levi hadn't seen eyes in that color before. He thought it was unfair that a bad man could have eyes this beautiful.

„Oh, you punished the birdie real good! That's for not chirping, birdie. Will you chirp for me now?"

The man's eyes finally focused and he seemed to look straight into the eyes of the Captain, then he looked away, saying nothing.

„What a shame." the Captain clicked his tongue and let go of the man's jaw standing up.

He reached out his hands for the whip, making the man in the chair tense.

„Not a fond of pain, are we?" the Captain laughed short. „Well, no wonder, you were a teacher – not much of a hard life, right?" he touched the blue-eyed man's cheek with the end of the whip.

„Well, it can't be helped… unless you decide you chirp a little bit more." The bad man didn't say a thing, only closed his eyes.

„As you wish, birdie…" The captain pulled his hand back to strike, only to be stopped by the loud knocking on the door.

„Captain? I'm sorry, sir." The voice of the woman outside was muffled by the thick door. „You are needed in an urgent situation."

He let his arms drop without hitting the captive in the chair. He huffled irritably, pushed back his long black hair, and strode towards the door.

„I'll be back." Before disappearing completely, he turned towards Levi.

„You stay here. I'm glad you could come so quickly, Levi."

Levi nodded, and the Captain was gone.

The black-haired boy glanced up briefly to the guards, who moved closer to each other, starting a conversation. Levi listened for a while, but after he heard several words he didn't understand, he lost interest. He waited for the Captain to come back, and to busy himself, he started scanning the room, even if he knew it like his own hand by now. No windows, no furnish but the chair, plain walls with small cracks, only one lamp hanging from the ceiling, putting the captive in focus. His eyes stopped on the bad man. He breathed hardly, and coughed sometimes. Levi was about to turn away, when the man lifted his head and looked straight at him. He was searching Levi's face, squinting.

He probably had bad eyesight, Levi thought. He started searching the ground and instantly found the object: just left from the leg of the chair, there lay a pair of glasses; two round, transparent pieces, held together by a frame.

The bad man was still looking in his direction, squinting, but he didn't say a thing. The boy's fingers itched to pick up the pair of glasses from the ground, but he hesitated. The guards were busy laughing at a joke, and didn't seem to care. The problem was that the captive was close to the glasses. Levi knew that he was tied up safely, but it didn't mean he shouldn't be cautious with him. In the end, Levi chose to go close to him with confident steps. He knew the Captain would do the same. He crouched down, and grabbed it by the frame. He was about to move away, when hoarse voice reached his ears.

„Are there…"

Levi startled, his heart pounding in his chest, but when he saw that the guards weren't paying attention, he turned towards the man, still crouching. Levi was at a safe distance, and he felt a strange urge which told him to listen.

The man cleared his throat.

„Is there a woman here too? Or a boy?"

Levi only looked at him. Why did the stranger wanted to know that? He couldn't stop himself, so he asked, as quietly as he could:

„Why?"

The blue eyes were now fully focused on Levi's face, and their strength made the black-haired boy uneasy, but even then, he couldn't look away.

„My wife and my son… are they here?"

Levi's lips parted in surprise. Why was he saying this? Was he lying? He was a bad man, he must've been lying. Levi opened his mouth, determined to call him out on it, when one of the guards snapped.

„Hey! Don't talk to him." Levi pulled back from the chair and went back to his place, next to the door. The glasses were still in his hands. He wanted to observe them, but the man was still looking at him. Maybe later. He put the glasses in his pocket.

While they waited, Levi tried to listen to the conversation the guards continued, but he felt the eyes of the stranger constantly on him, which made the uneasiness in him strengthen. It was odd, as it was a long time ago he felt uncomfortable in this room. Whatever happened here, he got used to it - he was seven when the Captain first bring him to witness the punishment of a bad man. Back then he was weak, couldn't even look, but now, a year later, he was strong. He understood that people who have done really bad things, needed to be punished. The liars, too. This blond man was a liar. He needed to show regret and tell the truth, or…

But something itched in his mind about what the captive said. He was asking about a woman and a boy… his wife and son? But… bad men didn't have wives and children. Levi didn't understand. It was probably just another lie, but still, it couldn't leave his mind. What was he planning to do with the answer? He couldn't use it to escape. Then… why the lying?

He still felt the man's gaze on him, and he couldn't help himself: he took in the blue eyes fully the second time. The blond's lips didn't move, but Levi saw the same question in his stare. The boy couldn't bare the weight of it anymore, instead he observed the strong jaw clenching in pain and the blood trickling from the chin, his hair sticking to the side of his head sweatily, the floor around splattered with red stains. It was Levi's and other children's task to clean up in this room. If everything goes all right, there won't be more loss of blood, and it will be quite easy to take care of the windowless room.

Suddenly, they heard a muffled sound of a loud bang, coming from the inside of the building. One of the guards were already on the move to open the door, when it swung open, and a girl with short, mouse-grey hair stepped in: she was older than Levi, he saw her around here once or twice.

„Captain's orders: Leave the man in the room, and come to the main hall, it's urgent!" the girl seemed out of breath as she cling on the door's frame. The guards haven't even spared a glance at Levi or the blond man.

The girl stood panting for a second, before turning around to follow them, but Levi stopped her.

„What about me?"

She frowned.

„The Captain didn't mention you." she pulled herself away from Levi's hold, and left without another word.

He just stood in the door, his back to the captive, and he had a great view of the corridor, holding a grand commotion – people running around, bringing different objects by themselves or with the help of someone, cursing or whispering, making noise, but in the meantime, trying to stay quiet. Levi suddenly heard the voice behind him.

„Little boy…"

He turned around. The blond man was looking at him with the same expression as before.

„Please…"

Levi didn't move, but he listened to the stranger, who had some difficulty speaking clear; he needed to take shaking breath between words.

„Have you… seen… a boy and a woman here? She has brown hair… really beautiful… The boy's a little taller than you… he's very like me, blue eyes, blond hair…"

Before he was aware of what he was doing, Levi shook his head. He felt a little guilty despite the fact that he didn't go against the Captain's rules. The captive also couldn't use this information anyway. But then why did he ask…

„Are you sure?" his voice sounded strained.

Levi nodded, and the whole posture of the blond man changed. His shoulders, which were pulled in, dropped down and he lifted his head a little, his eyelids came down and he sighed. He seemed relieved, like… like something good happened. And… it seemed like the line of his mouth curled slightly… was he smiling?

Levi jumped slightly when he felt hands on his shoulder. Glancing up, he saw Captains face, and he instantly tensed, even if he couldn't get a good look from this angle.

His face seemed expressionless, but Levi felt the fingers strengthen on his shoulders. He was angry – he looked like this when someone did something wrong – Levi long knew that it's better to avoid him when he's like this… well, if the anger isn't directed on him, that's another case. Then the Captain looked down on Levi, and his lips curled into a smile.

„It seems our little birdie has to go."

Levi frowned in confusion, but didn't dare to say a thing. The Captain came in fully and closed the door behind him.

He let go of Levi's shoulders, and put his gloves on. He stepped really close to the chair, leaned down, waving Levi nearer. The boy walked over obediently. The man tensed again, and tried to put as much distance between himself and the Captain as he could.

„Now, Levi. Do you know what happens when little birdies no longer chirp?"

It was now strangely difficult for Levi to say the words.

„They lose their friends."

„That's right, Levi. And what happens if they lose their friends?"

„They don't fly anymore." answered Levi, struggling to keep his voice calm, as he saw the blond's eyes widen in fear. Captain reached inside the pocket of his jacket, pulling out a small dagger – it was thin and looked very sharp.

„Hmm-hmm. And what happen when birdies don't fly anymore?"

Levi tried to say the next phrase like the scene didn't affect him at all – it should've been like that. He saw a lot of bad men die already, but somehow this… this didn't seem right. Grey eyes found blue again. Unbidden, the man's words about his wife and his son came to mind… But the man was here for a reason, he was a liar, a bad man, so he couldn't possibly have a wife or a son. It was a lie he told Levi. The Captain never lied to him. Bad men needed to be punished, and if they didn't show regret… if they didn't obey the Captain…

„They sleep."

„Sleep they do, Levi. Sleep they do." Levi heard his Captain whisper before the dagger disappeared in the chest of the bad man, his cry cut short the moment before he died.

The scared boy

End of Chapter Four

To be continued

9th of November 2014


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